Sun-Face
by Chillyninja
Summary: When Cat announces that she's in love with Jade, Jade doesn't know how to feel. She wants to both help and deny Cat. Can they find a happy middle? Cat/Jade (Cade) with hints of Cat/Tori and Jade/Tori (Cori and Jori), femmeslash, rated T for violence
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Thanks for accidentally clicking on this. If you clicked on it purposefully, I'm practically famous. **

**I have NO idea where I'm going to go with this. I don't want to rate it too high and get your hopes either down or up (depending how smutty your personality is), but I don't want to rate it too low in case I take it certain directions. **

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"Jade!"

I sprint towards her dark head of hair and the defiant streaks of turquoise dripping through the black. I hope she doesn't reject my hug, but I can promise nothing.

My arms barley wrap around her before she throws them off, scowling at my chipper expression. "Off, Cat," she scolds, and I slink back a couple of steps, resting my head against a quilted locker.

"Jade-y, Jade-y," I bounce, "I can't stop thinking about what you said! I think we should totally go to Nozu tomorrow, and can we invite Tori and Beck and Andre and Robbie and-"

"Shhhh," Jade hisses, pulling me over to the side of the lockers. "I just wanted it to be you and me. Ever since Beck and I broke up, I've needed to channel the few drops of love that my soul has into something. DON'T mention this to anyone else."

"OKAY," I whisper, but loudly enough so that anyone who wants to hear can hear. Sometimes, when we're alone, Jade scares me. "I WON'T TELL ANYONE WE'RE GOING TO NOZU TOMORROW."

Jade's eyes burn into my soul, and I cower, backing up and raising my hands. "Okay," I whisper, at a normal volume this time.

"At six," she tells me.

* * *

"Cat," Jade asks, after the nice man has taken our orders and given us food, "Can I sleep over at your house tonight again?"

"Jade-y," I inform her, concerned, "You've slept over at my house tonight every single day for..." I count on my fingers. "3 weeks! Why?"

"We don't have any white frosting," she tells me, "or any spoons. How am I supposed to eat white frosting if we don't have any frosting or any spoons?" Suddenly I feel very bad for Jade, and I feel obliged to hug her. She shoves me away.

Carefully taking a piece of sushi between her chopsticks, she dips it in the brown, murky sauce and swirls it around. "Eat, Cat," she commands, pointing to my food. It all seems dull to me now that white frosting is on my mind.

"But I'm not hungry!" I protest, shoving it away. "Eww. It's icky, Jade, don't make me eat it."

"Cat," she tells me firmly, "Eat."

It slides down my throat slowly, even if I dip it in murky brown sauce. When Jade's not looking, I dump half of it into my napkin. Just to be safe, I tell her, "Jade, don't look, I'm not putting my food in my napkin." But she finds out anyway, and we leave.

Jade's face is almost as dark as outside. She's going to drive back at night; Jade loves driving at night, but I hate it. When you drive at night, there's no sun, and the sun guides your way. But Jade always knows where she's going, even without a sun.

I have a secret to tell Jade that will make her face like the sun. I've only seen her happy when she's acting, when she's pretending to be someone else, and when she's with Beck. I want to wait, though, and tell her tonight. I want to see if Jade's sun-face glows in the dark.

* * *

"Jade," I whisper, when the lights are still on and we're still in our day clothes, but I can't wait any longer. "Jade, I have a secret."

She raises her eyebrows. "Is it a good secret or a bad secret?"

"A good one!" I almost yell, nodding as fast as I can. "A good secret."

"Dammit," Jade mutters, sitting on the mattress. It creaks under her weight. "Fine, tell me."

"I love girls," I blurt out suddenly, and I bite my lip from excitement. Will Jade's sun face appear? She seems unchanged, and she gives me a shrug and turns, resting her head against the pillow.

"Of course, Cat, you love everyone," Jade responds with a roll of her eyes, glancing over at the bathroom. "Hey, can I take a shower?"

"No, I mean, I love girls like you love boys," I tell Jade, lifting up my hands really far apart to show her. "Like, this much. I want to kiss girls sometimes, like you kissed Beck. Girls make me very happy."

Jade's neck snaps up. Her face falls dark. "Cat," she whispers hoarsely. "You don't understand. This isn't a good secret, this is serious. Are you playing with me, Cat? Are you joking?"

"No, Jade-y," I sing-song, sitting against the mattress and putting my hand over Jade's. "I'm not joking. I want to be with girls sometimes," I say. "I want to be with them in that way that I learned about in health class. That's how I want to be with them."

Jade stands up from the bed so fast that she nearly falls. Her face is cold and clammy. "Cat, don't you want to talk to someone about this? About your feelings for the same sex?"

"Silly, I AM talking to someone!" I chirp. "I'm talking to you! But you didn't even hear the best part of this secret yet, Jade." I take a deep breath and smile. This will make Jade's cold-face into a sun-face. "Most of all, I want to be with you."

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**In hindsight, that was an odd mix of femmeslash and smut. I kind of liked it. If you did, too, drop me a review. It really helps. Thanks, guys!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed! I'm continuing this with Cat's POV specifically because you wanted to see Jade's reaction, but later I ****_will_**** switch to her POV. **

**Where is this going, you ask? I have no idea. I'm just writing. **

* * *

Jade doesn't answer.

I rock back and forth on my heels, waiting. It's like time is frozen all except for my feet being able to rock. Her eyes dart around the room, from wall to wall; then she says, "Cat, you don't just tell people this stuff. It won't make some of them happy."

"But you just tell people, and Tori just tells people, and it makes _them_ happy!" I'm very confused, and start to cry. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Jade."

"STOP crying, Cat," she hisses through her teeth. I wipe off the tears around my eyes, hoping Jade won't yell at me. "Sometimes, people get..." -she thinks for a moment-"Mad when girls love girls."

"Does it make you mad, Jade-y?" I ask, and the tears keep coming, even though I tell them with my thoughts that they shouldn't come.

"No," she mutters, "But just don't tell anyone. Look," Jade whispers, and she tilts my head up to meet her glance. I can see that her eyes are still dark, her expression unchanged. That happens a lot; I think something will make people very happy and it makes them angry at me. They yell, sometimes. They scare me with their eyes and their voices. _How could you be so stupid, _they say. I hate that word, stupid. "Look at me, Cat. Don't. Tell. Anyone."

Something else I hate is keeping secrets. They make me feel fidgety inside, like my stomach is getting all twisted into a tight knot of stomach-ness. "Why?" I ask, my voice trembling, and a little rebellious tear slides down the right side of my face and onto Jade's wrist. She wipes it off and continues to stare at me.

"Just because, Cat," she tells me, and that's not a very good explanation. "Believe me."

I don't.

"Say you won't tell anyone," she commands.

"Ja-"

"SAY YOU WON'T TELL ANYONE," Jade says, louder and so firm that if feels like a million bricks in the room. She steps back.

"I won't tell anyone," I say, but it makes me start to cry, and I put my head in my hands, embarrassed. Jade walks over apologetically and puts a hand on my back.

"Stop crying," she tells me, which is about as soothing as Jade ever gets. "Do you need a hug?"

"Can I really, for real, give you a hug?" I ask, and I feel like a heavy rocks have been lifted off my shoulders, because everyone likes hugs but Jade. She doesn't let me give her hugs a lot, except for the time that I got her and everyone else out of the RV, and a couple times that I did things right.

"Yeah," she tells me, and I wrap my arms around her stiff, pale body. She smells sharp, like perfume, and I bury my head into her locks of deep black hair.

"I'm sorry for telling you," I apologize as I pull away.

"It's okay, it's just that..." she searches for the right thing to say, but I guess she can't find it because she just shakes her head. "Never mind. Let's go to bed."

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**Whoa. I don't even have anything to say about that except for review, and thanks for reading! This IS still going, it's incomplete. You'll know when it has ended. **


	3. Chapter 3

**This is from Jade's POV, and I know you could infer that but I wanted to put it here anyway. **

**So... yeah. I'm running out of things to say in the author's notes but I feel as if I need to put them here because they're very official-y. **

* * *

I can't breathe.

Why does this trouble me? It's Cat; it's who she is. That's not the part that's gotten me worked up, I decide. It's the fact that Cat is so vulnerable, she doesn't even know what she's doing.

Every night for the past few weeks we've had these sleepovers. I'm afraid to return home because I know what lies there: nothing. No pink, fuzzy walls, no smiling mother, no try-and-you'll-succeed father. I can lie to Cat easily; I make up excuses when she asks. It's our secret, I tell Cat. The bruises running up my chest and around my chin are not to be spoken of.

Tonight is different, however. Something is keeping me up. I can't believe that Cat might want to be with me, or to be my girlfriend, or to have s-

I don't even want to think about that.

Does Cat know where she's going? Does she know what she's doing? I've taken her problems and made them mine. Maybe why I can't sleep is because the number of problems I've taken on myself has finally passed the bearable limit. I'm afraid, though, that Cat might get very hurt telling everyone things that she doesn't fully understand...

But it's who she is! Is this bad for me to do? I consider that for awhile. Am I forcing her back into the closet?

No. She's Cat; she's never serious about anything. But what if she was very serious about that. What if it was the ONE thing she was serious about, and I shook it off like a fly on a hot summer day?

Cat stirs, and it makes me gasp in surprise. My heart thuds underneath my black PJs, then it calms suddenly. Why can't I stand her merely rolling over? I'm angered and confused by myself. I should talk to her.

No I shouldn't.

Yeah I should.

No, I shouldn't.

Yeah I sh-

"Jade?"

My heart leaps to my throat. "Agh-uh- yeah?" I spit, startled. She sighs.

"I want to get up and drink some water. Do you want some water, too?" I'm still quite suprised and breathless. I'm not really sure how to answer.

"Cat, can we- talk?"

"Talk about what?"

"What you said earlier," I told her, "and how I upset you." I sigh, and my breath shudders like I've been crying, even though I haven't. "Do you really have... feelings, let's say... for me?"

"Feelings?" Cat's confused. "I have feelings right now. Like right now I'm feeling confused. Is that what you mean?"

"No, like..." I'm not really sure how to ask this. "Would you rather date me than a boy? Are girls... more romantically attractive to you? Do you..." Where am I going with this? I should just shut up. Cat doesn't even know.

"Jade, I love you," she tells me, and suddenly tears fly to my eyes for no reason. Cat's like a daughter figure to me, not a friend; she's someone I love and would give my life for easily. But do I really love her... that... way? She presses her cheek to mine. I can't stop shaking with contained sobs.

"Shh, Jade, why are you upset?"

I don't answer because I know it will make me sound REALLY sad. I defensivley manage to choke out, "No reason."

A tears begin to drip down my cheeks. I turn away from Cat. I feel like I need a really good, long cry, but I'm never going to let Cat see me this emotional. All the problems I have are catching up with me all of a sudden.

I've held Cat when she cries all the time. She's very sad for no reason a lot of the time; she can't easily take critisim. But I would never, never let Cat comfort me. "Go to sleep," I tell her, my voice thick. I wipe stray tears off the corners of my face.

"I still need water," she comments. I say nothing.

"I'm going to die of thirst like I'm a cactus in a desert."

I still remain silent.

"Come on, Jade, I just want a little water. Can you get it? Pretty please?" I stand up, my shoulders still shaking with after-sobs.

The kitchen is just downstairs, through the hallway, and to the right. The moonlight flows in through the window to the right, washing the floor in a white light color.

I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. I'm distraught, but that's not the problem. It's Cat.

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**So, yes, that was Chapter 3! I'm not getting many reviews, so I'm putting the story on hold. I pledge that this story will continue as soon as it hits its eighth review. **

**I hope you're enjoying it! Should I change the rating to teen? Message me and tell me what you think. I might keep it at M, but I haven't actually wrote any smut yet, so it might be a little excessive. **

**Thanks! **

****Update: it's been several days since I've gotten any reviews, the last beinga quite a few days ago. THANK YOU if you were one of the six who did, I love each and every one of you. **

**Liked it? Then review! You don't even have to have a fanfiction account! Tell a friend to review! I desperately want to continue. Let's hit eight reviews!****


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! Sorry about the lack of update, I was camping. Camping! Yeah, cool, huh? But now I'm back, and I'm ready to write. **

**I would ask you to forgive me because it's my first-ever story, but I did have one more wierd, kind of odd story that I deleted basically because it's none of my business. So if you read that, that's where it went. **

**Cat's POV **

* * *

I think Jade is very sad about something, because she started to cry. Jade doesn't really ever cry. I thought it was because all her makeup sopped up the wetness and made it so there were no tears when she got angry, but that's not true I don't think.

For the first time ever, I want to be alone. I want Jade to be far away so that I can think. I thought for a long time while Jade was getting waters, but it still wasn't enough, and when she came back I scooted all the way over to the other side of the bed and fell off with a crash.

"Cat! Are you okay?" she asks quickly, yanking me up off the ground after she hurridly sets a glass down on the side table. The water sloshes over the edge and onto the wood.

"I'm okay," I respond, although I'm not really okay, because I don't know what Jade is going to say next and I hate uncertianty. I stand up fast, gripping onto her hand tightly.

"Can we just go to bed?" I ask, hoping Jade won't say anything else about what I'd told her. To my suprise, she shrugs, and slides underneath the covers.

"Fine. Goodnight, Cat."

* * *

The next day at school was different.

Normally, Jade is always trying to control me. She's always putting a hand on my shoulder or telling me, "No, Cat." Often, she stuffs things in my mouth or hands me bright, distracting things so I won't say things she doesn't want me to say.

Today at school, Jade was as far away from me as possible. I walked up to her, but it was like we were two magnets, and she stepped away more the closer I got. I magnet-ed her all the way to the bathroom until she disappeared into the stall and I couldn't find enough brave-ness in myself to talk to her. I left.

She didn't say anything about a sleepover, but I knew she'd show up. Her sleek black car rolled into the driveway at promptly 5:00, just enough time to avoid me for as long as possible while still receiving dinner.

"Jade?" I ask questioningly as I pull open the door. She storms in past me and whirls around in the middle of the room. "I thought you'd already bought white frosting and spoons."

She doesn't answer, and I sigh. I jump to the point. "You're mad at me. Why do you keep coming here?"

"Look," she hisses. "You've been honest with me. Now, it's my turn to be honest with you. I don't freaking care about frosting, or saving polar bears, or any of those things I told you I was coming for. I get hurt when I go home."

Jade pulls up a tight black sleeve to reveal bruises running up her arms. "Nobody loves me," she proclaims loudly, and I hope my parents don't come down and give her a speech about self-confidence. Those are the worst.

There was me, here, and then there was me, there. No in-between. My lips are crashing down on Jade's, my body pressed up against hers, feeling her warm, plump, sticky lips beneath mine. I can't see I'm so excited; I'd been wanting this for so, so long. I try to slip my tounge between her lips, but she pushes me away, panting, as if she'd just run a mile.

"Cat."

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**Whoa! Yes, I know! **

**If you are a real human being and you reviewed, thank you! I'm so glad that real human beings are reading this and taking the time to review it. Okay, so the little contest thingy has ended even though I didn't get 5 suggestions, but I got one that I really like and I'm going to use it. **

**Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, thank you to Purple Scizzor48, who was the only one who actually gave me a detailed plotline to continue down. TeamCade kind of did. Well, they just wrote "I just want Cade lol" and so yeah, I'll give you Cade :) **

* * *

Cat starts to cry.

Really softly, she turns her head away and pretends like I can't hear her shake with sobs. I feel an odd urge to comfort her but at the same time, I feel like I should take a step back. I hear her soft little "hick" that she makes when she cries, and I turn, embarrassed.

She kissed me. Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl" starts to thud through my head, and it makes me feel dizzy and sick. Her lips were dry and warm on mine, but it didn't feel like any kiss I'd had before, with a boy. It didn't feel exciting, and it didn't make me breathless. That kiss was the broccoli of all kisses; I choked it down. It wasn't appealing to me.

Had I missed something? Maybe I should have let Cat continue, guiding her tounge over my lips and teeth, slipping her hands around my neck to pull me closer. The thought is somehow soothing; I love french kissing, and I love Cat. I lick my lips and I taste her, as if she's still hovering beside me, her fingers brushing against my hand lovingly.

I whisper her name as I turn back. "Cat," I say it gently, and it floats in the air for a minute before it reaches her. Her head turns, and her face is caked with tears and wet mascara. "Cat, it- it's okay."

"It is?" She looks up at me with wide, brown eyes that make me want to lose it too, to fall into her innocent arms and sob with my head against hers. Her chin quivers.

"Come here." I take her in my arms, and she feels so warm against me. My heart isn't pulsing like it would with a boy, but I feel so loved when I'm with Cat. That's more than I can say for a lot of people: my Dad, my sister...

She gives me a tender kiss on the cheek, but I sense fear instead of longing and passion. She's wary about what I might do, what I might say, and it drains the love out of her gentle motion...

"Cat, I know something that would make me very happy," I tell her as she pulls away, and although in my outer shell I feel that it's forced, I know deep inside that it would, indeed make me incredibly happy. "I want you to be my girlfriend."

Cat's breath catches in her throat and she lets out an excited little squeak. She presses her lips to mine, and instead of being brocolli, this one's chocolate cake; it runs through me and makes my heart beat. I sway against her, full of an incredible amount of passion. I take her head in my hands and press it harder to mine, and this time she breaks away before attempting to continue further.

"We have to tell someone," she says. "I have to break your rule, Jade."

I nod, but all I can feel right now is her hot breath against my cheek. It makes me tingle all over. "I know," I breathe, and Cat nuzzles her nose against my cheek.

"Do you want to cuddle?" she asks, and we promptly curl up on the couch, hand in hand, my fingers entertwined with hers. She scoots over closer, enough to be halfway on my lap, her legs draped across mine. I kiss her cheek tenderly and lovingly.

"I love you, kitty-Cat."

* * *

I walked into Hollywood Arts the next day feeling amazing.

I saw Tori and waved to her, smiling, and when she dropped her books I picked a majority of them up. I caught her checking the books suspiciously a moment later, but it didn't phase me; if I were Tori I would do the same thing.

Honestly, I had never felt this good in a long time. Since Beck and I broke up, there's been nobody to look forward to, nobody to meet in the hallway and kiss. I've had no one to call my own, to hold my hand, to love me.

Cat squeaks in happiness when she sees me, and she gallops down the hallway, pushing past the bystanders who nobody every cares or mentions. I can see that she wants to kiss me by the way her lips twitch and quiver, but she knows I will shove her away if she tries here, in front of everybody. I pull her to the side, into the janitor's room, and shut the door.

She leans up and our lips collide, soft and sweet. I draw out the kiss longer by gently placing my pale hands on her neck, and she leans forward to accommodate for my request. We're away from the window so nobody can see, hidden from the public.

In the closet.

Literally.

She sighs softly and falls into my arms. The bell rings, and I know that we're going to be late, but I press my lips to Cat's head and rest like that for awhile.

"Jade," she tells me, and there's both pain and happiness and her voice. "We have to get to class."

I nod. "I know, kitten," I tell her, "but can we just stay a little longer?"

We stay until the office calls our name over the intercom and tells us to "please report to class" for sake of not getting "punished for cutting school."

* * *

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**Next chapter: what will Tori, Beck, and Andre's reactions be like? Will they support or hurt their friends? Keep reading, and if you want the chapter to come sooner, leave a review! **


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm writing this right after I put up chapter 5, because as a writer I get really excited about the next chapter just like my readers :) **

**So, I don't know how many reviews this is going to get between now and when it goes up, but if you reviewed you're amazing. Thank you. I check the reviews multiple times a day (as well as my PMs) and so I WILL get and read your review. I promise. **

* * *

I'm nearly shaking at lunch.

I can't even hear what Tori is droning on about, all I'm paying attention is Cat's foot rubbing lovingly against mine, and thinking about what reactions we're going to get when we tell everyone that we're dating...

"Right, Jade?" Tori says, and I suddenly snap out of my trance. My eyes flicker from person to person, and I look down at the table, sulking. How much longer can I keep this a secret? I can't wait until everyone knows, and I can kiss Cat in the hallways and snuggle with her at lunch. I can't wait until it's old news; I can't wait until nobody cares anymore-

"What's up with you, Jade?" Beck asks.

"Cat and I are dating!" I blurt out suddenly, and my hands fly to my mouth, ashamed. I bite down hard on my long, pale fingers, wishing I could rewind and present the case better, lead into it, reassure Cat and take a deep breath...

Cat looks only a bit ashamed, but that's because she can feel the fear radiating off me and picks up on others' social cues extremely fast. She puts her head in her hands, refusing to look at the others, most likely out of fear that they'll yell like I told her they would.

Tori opens her mouth to say something, startled, then closes it. Beck raises his eyebrows, and Andre looks down at his hands. Then Rex says, "So you gay, or what?"

Robbie slaps his hand over Rex's mouth, but he's already said what he's said. I rip him out of Robbie's arms and throw Rex towards a table of anonymous, unnoticed background kids. They scatter, and Robbie runs after Rex.

"Jade and I love each other a lot," Cat says softly, "and I love girls, so it's perfect."

"Cat, we love you just the same, okay?" Beck tells her, squeezing her hand. I notice he doesn't mention me; since he and I broke up it's been a bit stiff between us, no matter how sweet Beck is. He probably knows that I'm not gay like Cat, but still.

Andre nods. Tori wraps her arms around Cat and gives her a little hug, which makes my fingers tense up underneath the table. When she pulls away I let out my breath. Tori turns to me, and I'm waiting for the harsh remark. "Jade," she says slowly, "be nice to Cat, okay?"

"Telling me what to do, Vega?" I spit, glaring at Tori. She doesn't shrink back at all.

"I just want to make sure that she's safe," Tori responds.

I nod and give Cat a peck on the lips just as Robbie returns. When I kissed Beck everyone seemed unfazed, but this time Andre looks away uncomfortably and Tori winces. It makes me want to throw something, but I want to be a good influence on Cat. I raise my eyebrows at Tori, and she looks away, embarrassed.

"You two are a beautiful couple," Robbie comments, and I can tell he's only saying that to spare me from hurting him. I shrug, but I can feel my face glowing with pride. I feel really happy knowing that nobody cares about me dating Cat.

At least, I thought nobody cared.

* * *

I straighten my lacy outfit a little bit. "Come on, Jade," Cat pleads, "you can't wear that."

"I can wear whatever I want," I respond sharply, but she's kind of right. It's not really a good-impression kind of outfit. She sighs and takes off the sweater she's wearing over her red dress and drapes it across my shoulders. She sighs, looking into my eyes, and we share a kiss.

"I love you no matter what happens," she tells me.

"Same, Cat." I take a deep breath. "Here we go."

I walk into Cat's house confidently, and her Mom is making dinner in the kitchen like Cat told me she would be. "Ms. Valentine, let me take care of that," I plead. She turns, looking surprised. "Cat and I are making dinner tonight. We're treating you, your husband and Frankie to dinner."

"Well, you ladies sure look dressed up," she comments. "And how polite you are today, Jade." She sighs and puts down the pan. "I guess I can't refuse."

It nearly kills me to be called polite, but I force a smile and take the pan from her. "You head on upstairs. We want it to be a surprise."

* * *

"Wow," Ms. Valentine says in that mother-like tone that fills the air with a syrupy tone. I hate it so much. "You girls did a great job."

The room is lit by candlelight, and a white tablecloth is draped across the dining room table. Mr. Valentine is following behind, and he looks equally as surprised. He raises his eyebrows. "I'm impressed," he admits.

Frankie is nowhere to be found. "Where's your brother?" I ask Cat, and she shrugs.

"Oh, he- he's outside," Ms. Valentine explains. "I didn't think he could handle a fancy dinner like this." she walks over, and Mr. Valentine promptly pulls out her chair for her. She sits down. "Thank you, sweetheart."

My heart starts to thud. I unveil the dishes in the middle: an elaborate casserole that we bought from Kroger, a bean dish that had a recipe on The Slap for download, and some brownies and cakes that we made from a box. "Goodness!" Ms. Valentine exclaims. "Did you girls really make all of this?"

"Um, yeah," I lie. "All from scratch."

Cat nods, but it's almost mechanic. I can tell that she's just as nervous as I am. "Before you eat, Mr. and Ms. Valentine," I say, "Cat and I would like to talk to you about something... improtant."

"Go ahead, girls," Mr. Valentine says, and although he's trying to play it cool I see his eyes flicker curiously to Ms. Valentine, who gives a little shrug that I'm not supposed to see.

"Uh, Cat and I have been friends for a long time," I tell him. He nods, but clearly he's not getting my serious tone.

"Yeah, and?"

"We've decided that we want to be something... more than friends," I say, and I feel my throat tighten. My palms are really sweaty. I wipe them on my pants.

"What do you mean?" Ms. Valentine chuckles. Then, as if I'm stupid, "You're both girls."

"Cat and I are dating. Cat and I are in love," I say, trying to reinforce this. "Cat loves girls. And I... well, I don't really know."

Their faces darken, and they look at each other suspiciously. My breathing is unsteady, and I can feel Cat grip my hand behind our backs, where her parents can't see. "You mean to tell me," Mr. Valentine says, rising from the table angrily and putting his hands down on the table, "That my daughter is GAY?"

He spits that word so hatefully that it makes even me recoil. I back up a few steps and stammer, "Yes, sir."

"No daughter of mine," he hisses, "is gay."

I don't know how to respond. My mouth quivers, and I feel a million sarcastic remarks rise in my throat, but I swallow them.

He grabs a candle off the table and chucks it at us. I duck and pull Cat down with me. She lets out a shriek, and I stand up furious. "No daughter of mine," he repeats, "is gay."

"Calm down, honey," Ms. Valentine says softly, and I hope she'll side with me, but instead her face is hard as stone. She points to the door, and I nearly burst into tears. "Both of you. Out. Neither of you are allowed back in until you know how to make the right choices."

"It's not a choice!" I shoot back, and then duck again as Mr. Valentine chucks a dish at me. I came here to ESCAPE this, not get more of it.

"Out. NOW," he shouts. "This is MY household! I'M the man of this place. Both of you, leave."

Cat and I stumble out, and the door is slammed in our faces.

This time I cry.


	7. Chapter 7

**I can't help myself. I have to post another chapter. **

**I want to draw it out till I get more reviews; I want my followers to wait for awhile; I want to give them time to read and review. But no, here I am, writing another chapter, and what's the point of writing it and not uploading? **

* * *

I lean against Jade in the darkness. It's cold, and I can't really see much, but I know I'm with her. I feel like the happiest girl in the world right now, whether I'm homeless or not.

This is all my fault. My face aches from crying; I've cried all a girl can in a day. Jade did too, and she held me as we both sobbed. I at least have Jade's lips to kiss and her hand to hold; I may not have a house, but I have that. Why are my parents so traditional?

I feel like they can't accept change. They are perfectly happy with an old-timey, suit-and-tie yes-and-no-ma'am household. The last thing I expected them to do is kick me out, but now here I am, behind an old gas station where Jade tells me she used to sleep before she came to my house.

"Jade, I can't sleep," I whine, pressing up against her warm body. She jolts awake, and I realize I've woken her.

"Do you want me to sing?"

"Yeah," I admit. Jade's voice is amazing; I can sing, but I consider us equal. She begins to sing a song I don't know, and I'm not really paying attention to what the lyrics say, but the sweet sound of her voice is enough. In the middle of the song I muffle her voice by turning to kiss her, and she responds by kissing me back.

I feel my heart beat, and I slip my tongue in between her lips. she responds by opening her teeth wider as my tongue glides into her mouth, slipping over her teeth and up against the sides of her mouth. I feel our warm mouths together, and somehow this is everything I've ever wanted but at the same time it's cost me so much...

I feel in control of Jade when I'm kissing her. I guess all I had to do to to take control of Jade was to kiss her; that's the way to her heart. She respects me when I'm kissing her, and I can feel that she's letting me take control with my tongue...

"Cat," Jade whimpers as she pulls away. "Stop."

I want more so bad, but I know that when Jade says stop she means it. I back away and catch my breath, panting. "Will you hold me?" I ask, breathless, and Jade obliges, wrapping her arms around me and securing me in the night.

It's not long before I fall asleep.

* * *

I'm jolted awake by the sound of yelling. I thrust away from Jade, squinting up into the face of an older man. His face is creased with anger, but he's smiling an evil grin. His teeth look yellowed.

"So this is where you've been slipping off to all this time?" he laughs. "Your little girlfriend?" Jade is yanked to her feet by this man, and for the first time she looks really, truly scared.

He spits in her face, then shoves her backwards. She stumbles, wiping the saliva off her cheeks. "I always knew you were a lesbian," he laughs. "There was something disgusting about you that I couldn't quite put a finger on."

Jade doesn't say anything, she just stands, looking ashamed.

"Now I can." Before I can even think, he lunges at me.

Jade jumps in front of me, and instead of grabbing my face, he grabs her hair. "DON'T TOUCH HER." she growls. I try to get out of the way while I can, but Jade grips my hand. I feel as if she needs me; instead of to manipulate, this time for safety. I stay.

I only hear a crack, and I realize that the man has slugged Jade across the face. "I tell you what to do, lesbian," he shouts at her. "You DON'T leave without my permission." He slaps her across the face twice. "Those two are for your lesbian girlfriend, who's too much of a coward to take them." He's right. He slugs her again. "You are NOT to leave the house."

"Go home, Dad," Jade says smartly. "You're drunk." I can't see her face from where I'm standing, but I can see blood running onto the ground.

Oh, my God, is that her Dad? I shiver at the thought. My Dad could get like that if he was very, very mad, but he would never hit me. He might throw things at me and yell, but he would never actually hurt me. Oh, my God. Poor Jade-y.

"You can't tell me what to do," he yells at her. "You're coming home with me." Jade starts to get dragged by him, but he suddenly gets distracted, and Jade turns to me and grabs my wrist.

She has blood running all down her face from her nose, which looks black and blue. "Let's go," she whispers. "Come on, Cat." She grabs my wrist and we start to run.

* * *

It's about noon on Saturday, and I know where we're headed by now. Jade hasn't told me, but I know this way.

LA is not a good place for two pretty teenage girls to be alone, but by now we've taken almost all we can get. She guides me defiantly, each step certain, and she only stops to gingerly press her bloody nose and cry out in pain.

I apologize for the millionth time. "It's not your fault, baby," Jade says, turning to me, and I want to kiss her so bad but I hate the taste of blood. It's like licking a penny. My brother licked a penny once; then he swallowed it and they had to get it out with a crane.

Jade steps up to Tori's door and gives a feeble knock. She then rests her head on the bricks like she can't muster up enough energy to look up.

Tori answers, and I feel so relieved to see her kind, forgiving face. "Oh, my God," Tori nearly shouts upon seeing Jade's face. "Come in. Oh, my- Oh, my God. What happened?"

Jade starts to cry before she even explains. It makes me so sad seeing Jade cry, but I'm all tired out and I can't make any more tears. I grip her hand and squeeze it lovingly. "My Mom kicked me out," I tell Tori. "So Jade and I were sleeping behind a gas station when her Dad came and hurt her."

"Never do that again," Tori says firmly. "NEVER sleep behind a gas station. Not in LA, ladies. This door is always open, and I always love you both." She tries to group hug us, but Jade pulls away, clutching her nose in pain, like the time I punched Tori in the face and broke HER nose. That was over a boy, and besides, she told me to, so I'm not even sure what the big deal about that was.

"Here, let's get you two cleaned up."

* * *

**Review review review review just do it, even though I'm not partnered with Nike, 'cause if I was I would be too rich to write for free :) Actually, I don't write for free I write for reviews so review review review review**


	8. Chapter 8

**This is insane. It should be illegal, writing this many chapters in one day. If you guys hate me for putting up this many chapters, it's cool, I might switch to putting them up on a schedule (like every other day or every week). If you want that PM me or leave a review. **

**I know that sometimes I like it when the story updates come slow, so I get a chance to think about each one. It's up to you guys, though. **

**Okay, there's no way I'm uploading this tonight. I'm going to wait until morning. Sorry, but I want to leave more time for reviews to come in and people to think about the writing a little. **

* * *

I reassure Tori over and over that we're not friends, but she just keeps nodding. "Fine. Okay. But stay here today and tonight; I don't want you to get hurt even more."

She's told me that she wants to call the police on my father, but I don't want that to happen. He'll hit me even harder when he finds out that I told on him, and I can only imagine his sudden innocence when the police show up. He'll hug me and love on me while they're watching, and then I'll probably get a broken arm or something by the end of the night. I can only hope and pray that he doesn't pick up a knife...

I shudder, and Cat kisses my cheek tenderly. "Do you want something to eat?" Tori asks, motioning to the fridge. "I have-"

"Stop babying me, Vega," I spit at her, and she raises her hands.

"I'm just trying to be nice; you're really hurt." Cat nods and slips her hand into mine. It makes me feel so good to be with her, and proud too. I'd date her and be homeless any day over being single and having a nice warm bed. I sigh and press the nose brace. It's a bit stiff.

The people at the walk-in clinic didn't ask questions. Tori told me they wouldn't. And when I say they didn't ask questions, I mean they didn't even ask for anything more than my license. They just took Cat and I in the back and patched up my nose. It didn't hurt much at all, and although I will NEVER admit it to Tori, I'm really grateful for that.

It was only a bit later that I found out it was a clinic for the "less fortunate", but I didn't really care because they gave me medical treatment for free and that's really all that mattered to me. Although she played it down, I could tell Cat was disgusted at my face and didn't want to kiss me beforehand, but as soon as we go to the car I made out with her for quite a few minutes before an uncomfortable Tori cleared her throat and I realized I had to drive us back.

The door opens, and it's Ms. Vega. She looks from me to Cat, then to Tori. "Oh, hi, Jade," she says, concerned and confused. "Is everything okay?"

"Not really," Cat whimpers.

Tori nods. "Cat's mom kicked her out, and Jade's home isn't exactly..." she trails off, "safe, so they spent the night behind a gas station before Jade's dad found them and beat them up. Then they came here."

"Oh, honey," Ms. Vega exclaims, looking at me. "You two always welcome here. You can stay here for as long as you need." I know the question is coming, but it hits me anyway. "Why did Cat get kicked out?"

Before Cat can say anything, I butt in. "We're dating," I tell her, and it makes me shy for some reason, even though I'm probably the least shy person on the planet. "And Cat's parents... didn't exactly like that," I stutter. It makes my throat tight to admit, like I'm going to cry, but I try so hard to hold back the tears.

"I'm so sorry," Ms. Vega says, and she gives me a hug that I feel obliged to accept because she's letting me stay at her house for free. She then hugs Cat, who returns the hug passionately, dropping my hand and wrapping her hands around Ms. Vega's neck. "You can stay in Tori's room. I can set up an air mattress for you two on the floor."

Cat nods vigorously. "Thank you."

"But girls, no..." she points from Cat to me, and it makes her blush to think about. I get what she means and blush too.

"Oh, no, of course, I would- I mean, not- no. Yeah, no," I stammer. Cat's totally oblivious to the situation.

"No what?" she asks, and Ms. Vega bends to whisper it in her ear. It makes Cat blush too, then giggle.

"Not with Jade-y," she laughs. "Not yet, anyway." I feel my black-and-blue face grow even redder, and I hope Ms. Vega doesn't become TOO much of a temporary parent and give both of us that lecture again.

She just shrugs, though, and turns. "I'll get those beds set up. The three of you can watch a movie," Ms. Vega offers, and Tori nods, pointing to the TV.

"Cat, do you want to pick?"

"Yeah! Let's watch te-"

"NO!" I scold her. "I pick. Let's watch The Scissoring and turn off all the lights and stuff, and make it really scary." I'm in the mood for an adrenaline rush. But Cat turns to me and says something that I thought she would never say.

"No, Jade," she tells me. "Let me pick. You always decide for me, and this time I want to choose."

I REALLY want to watch The Scissoring, though, not some stupid toddler show that Cat somehow finds entertaining. I shake my head. "No. Tori, put in The Scissoring."

"Listen to me, Jade," Cat says, and she turns my head towards her. I shake her hands off, but continue to look her direction. "You always tell me what to do. If we're going to be dating, you have to respect me more. Let's watch something I want to watch, because you should respect me if you love me."

Her words get to me. I shrug. "Fine. You pick."

* * *

We're watching a really odd kids' movie that reminds me of the Diddly Bops (one of my worst nightmares). Cat turns to kiss me in the middle, but when I kiss her back, I don't feel electricity and excitement like I usually do. It feels like I'm kissing a toddler, a child, Cat.

When she starts to French with me I pull away and refuse her embrace. It feels dry to me; instead of love it feels like it really is: mixing saliva and pressing two girls' tongues together.

Tori seems really awkward like she usually does when we kiss. "Oh, get over it, Vega," I hiss at her. "Like YOU haven't made out with someone before." She rolls her eyes and continues watching, but she's clearly weirded out.

"Yeah, but I made out with a BOY," she says some time later.

"Dare you to tell me the difference," I snap.

"Look, it's just that you two are my friends," she whines. "Or, one friend and one I-don't-even-know."

"Beck is your friend," I shoot back, "and you never acted all grossed-out like that when WE made out in front of you. Do you have a problem with Cat and I, Vega? Is something wrong?"

She backs up. "Geez, I'm sorry."

In my head I say, "It's okay." Because deep down inside, I'm kind of grossed out too.

* * *

**Ah, who cares, I'm going to upload this today too. Review please? PRETTY please? **


	9. Chapter 9

**Wince wince wince...**

**The main point I wanted to get across with the last chapter was that Jade was unsure about her relationship with Cat in the fact that she doesn't really KNOW if she loves Cat that way. So apparently a lot of you were a bit outraged that she's not certain, and I'm outraged too! But it's the way that I wanted to take this Cade story.**

**Okay, let me establish a few things for those of you who've skipped the previous chapters and/or are confused after reading Chapter 8.**

**Jade agreed to be Cat's girlfriend because she loves her. But she's still not sure whether she likes Cat as a romantic partner; she's going back and forth.**

**Cat absolutely loves Jade with all her heart, especially in a romantic way.**

**Beck, Andre, Robbie and Tori completely approve of Cat and Jade being in a relationship.**

**Cat's parents do NOT approve of Cat and Jade being in a relationship; in fact, they banned the two girls from ever setting foot in the house until they break up. I'm not exactly sure why yet.**

**Jade's Dad is drunk (as always), and he never said he had anything AGAINST Jade and Cat, but he sure beat up Jade over it.**

**Tori and her parents are fine with Jade and Cat, and right now they're staying at Tori's house.**

**Cat feels in control of Jade when she kisses her, and is starting to stand up to Jade and tell her that she doesn't like to be constantly controlled by her. **

* * *

I'm calmed by Jade being beside me, like she pushes all the monsters away.

I think instead of pushing all the monsters away, she sucks up all the monsters into herself and becomes them. That's probably it. I sigh and scoot closer to Jade on the mattresses that we pushed together. "Cat," she whimpers, "I can't breathe."

Wiggling away, I link my fingers with hers, and she takes my hand and kisses each finger delicately. This is so much better than behind a gas station, Tori is right. It was very nice of her to let us stay here. There's kind of supposed to be a 2-foot gap between our beds, but we fixed that. It's okay; we're just snuggling. I'm sure if Tori was awake she wouldn't mind.

Or would she?

Tori seems a little bit grossed-out by me and Jade being all mushy, and I don't like it. Neither does Jade. She monster-snapped at Tori when all she did was tense up as we kissed. That seems a bit exaggerated, but it's Jade, what do you expect?

Trying to kiss Jade, I turn, but she gets all stiff and tells me to back up a little bit. It kind of hurts my feelings, and I swallow tears, but then she gives me a quick peck. "Sorry, baby," she whispers, "I just want to sleep."

I nod and roll over so that I'm facing the wall. Tori fell asleep the second she slid under the covers, which is good, because I didn't want her walking all over our relationship with her awkward glances.

But for some reason, I just can't get to sleep. Was it really easier when I was sitting against a concrete wall in downtown LA? There's just something about Jade tonight that's weird, like she's repelling me with an invisible force. She doesn't have the same love that she did last night, the love that kept me safe and sheltered from her evil Daddy who smelled like beer. That makes me worried. What if she has to protect me tonight and she doesn't? What if she lets me fall and someone hurts me?

I start to cry softly, but Jade doesn't hear because she's fallen asleep. All I wanted was to have Jade as my girlfriend, to hold her close, to have her love me. Then I scold myself. _You got that, Cat! You did! Stop being so selfish. She's just a little bit beat up. It'll be better in the morning._

Or at least I thought it would be.

* * *

When I wake up I don't see pink walls and I'm really scared for a second, but then I realize that I'm in Tori's house. I haven't had a sleepover here in a long time, but I remember that it's not really a sleepover.

Jade and Tori are already awake; daylight is streaming through the window. How late did I sleep in? It must be pretty late. I creep down the stairs and hear Tori and Jade talking in the kitchen.

"Do you really love Cat?" Tori asks.

My breath catches in my throat. I don't even want to hear the answer. "Of course," Jade says, and I feel so relieved. I want to run up and kiss her now, but I wait. It might be a good idea to hear more. "But so do you. I just don't love her like... that."

No, no, no, no. This is my worst nightmare. I put my head in my hands and try not to cry SO hard. "I love being close to her, and I love the way she kisses. But she's... she's Cat, I mean, what can I say? I have to be so gentle with her, but at the same time let her take control."

My shoulders are shaking, and I think that if I don't cry for one more second I'm going to explode. "Why do you keep making out with her, then?" Tori asks, and I really don't want to hear the answer but my feet are frozen.

"I don't want to hurt her," Jade explains with a shrug. "She's just a little baby; she's not even smart enough to think that if we don't give her whatever she wants we still love her."

"Jade?" I sob, and the two of them whirl around, looking shocked. I don't even know what to say; my vision is all crowded and foggy. I nearly trip over the stairs running back to Tori's room, and I hear my name called more than 2 times but I slam the door and lean against it so nobody can get it.

They pound on the door and it hurts my shoulders, but I'm not going to let them talk to me. "Cat, open the door! Cat, open! Please, please, please Cat!"

I hear Jade crying and Tori comforting her. The pounding stops, and I'm choking on my own tears I'm crying so hard. Why? I back away, but I hear Jade sounding SO sad and I can't help myself. I open the door. "Jade?" I whimper.

* * *

**Okay, I know that a lot of you are really disappointed that they're not all mushy still. I can sense it already. But there's a word for stories that have no plot-line, they're just love, and that word is fluff. This had to have some rough patches to make it work. s**

**Also, if you liked this, check out She Will Be Loved, my only other story :) It's Catorade, and right now it has only 2 reviews and 2 follows. I actually put more work per chapter into that one, so I guess it's a reversal of roles or something. Just check it out, it helps me a LOT. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey, so let me address some things and people before I get started. **

**First, the guest reviewer who asked me, "How is this fluff?" It's not; I was stating that I did NOT want it to turn into fluff. Also, yes, dammit or not, this is supposed to be a Cade love story. **

**Second, the reviewer who asked if there was going to be more on Jade's abuse and all that stuff: yes! Don't worry! I think that's my favorite subplot in the story, because it will be fun to play with the characters. **

**Also, to those of you who are still confused... I... I don't even know what more I can do. Reread the author notes for chapter nine, I guess? I can't really give you any advice further than that! **

**Okay, so the point of this story is to please other people. I'm writing for YOU. Some stories I write for myself, like She Will Be Loved, my other fanfic. That's for myself. I would continue to write it if I got 100 negative reviews. I don't care what others' opinions are on my story. That's why there's no author notes! **

**But this one is for you. I've tried to include you as best as I can, even letting YOU tell me the rest of the ****plot line and me writing it! EVERY SINGLE TIME MY EMAIL DINGS AND I GET A POSITIVE REVIEW FOR THIS STORY, IT MAKES MY DAY. I'm not kidding. I love every one of you who's left a review, whether or not it's a positive one. At least you cared about this story enough to try to fix it! **

**I feel like if you're confused, there's no reason to keep writing this. I mean, I'm going to try, but I haven't updated in awhile because I'm not excited anymore. When I did four chapters in one day, I was EXCITED for the future of this story. I was PASSIONATE about each chapter. I've been delaying this one because it pains me when I get an exciting ding and then realize SOMEONE ELSE has misread the description or is confused by the plot-line. **

**You're still reading. My God, I love you. **

* * *

This is the biggest mistake I've ever made in my life.

That includes the time I slammed my finger in the door because I was trying to fish a hair tie out of the hinges. Cat is the dearest thing in the world to me, and I just hurt her so badly. I mean, I really love Cat! I do! But there's nothing I could do to change the fact that I'm just not gay. For a girl who likes boys, I'm probably the most passionate about Cat that I could EVER be romantically.

I wrap my arms around her and she shoves away. The tears flowing down my cheeks intensify, because Cat would NEVER resist a hug. Never, except for now, when I've hurt her with my uncertainty.

My fists ball. Sudden anger surges through me, and I want to hurt someone. Who's to blame? I can't point fingers on anyone else but me, so I dig my fingernails into my arm. I hit a bruise and cry out in pain.

Cat looks worried for a second, and it makes my heart leap, but then her face darkens again. She turns away.

I just want to make her face bright one more time. I want to see that face she has when we're kissing, the sunny face she has. A sun-face. It makes me smile, but then I realize it looks like I'm smiling at Cat's pain and my face drops.

Vega tries to comfort me by putting her arm around me and I shove it away so hard that she stumbles backward. "STOPPIT," I hiss, wiping stray tears off of my face. "Cat, please," I whimper helplessly. "Please listen to me. I want to explain."

Instead she slams her head against the mattress that's set up on the ground for her to sleep on. When I woke up, I pushed the mattresses away again so that Tori wouldn't be suspicious.

Something is starting to eat me from the inside out. It's like a fire that is licking at my soul and my stomach. I turn to punch the wall, so filled with rage that I can't even think. Tori catches my punch, and it makes her fall over backwards. "You have to earn your keep," she scolds me. "Don't hurt others' things."

Don't hurt OTHERS' things? The fire lashes at me again from the inside and I scrape my nails against my wrist until I feel wet blood. It eases the bad pain, the internal pain, and gives me pain that I like.

"Cat, LISTEN TO ME." The fire makes me threatening. I want to hit Cat, to hurt her, to wrench her face around and MAKE her listen. I charge towards her, my vision white. I can't see, I can't think. This is rage.

Tori yanks me backwards. Why is she so strong? "DON'T HURT CAT!" she yells at the top of her lungs, and Cat turns, startled. I realize what I tried to do and begin to cry again, confused and misunderstood.

"Cat, don't you love me?" I ask harshly. "If you love me you'd come here, and give me a hug, and-" I'm talking through clenched teeth. "CAT."

She looks at me and stands up. "I love you," she sobs, "but I don't want to be with you if you're not going to honestly, truly love me back." That realization hits me in the face.

I have real, true love for Cat. But it's not romantic love. It's more like I'm trying to safeguard her and spoil her, like a mother. If Cat wants a kiss from Jade, she'll get a kiss from Jade. That's all I had to go on, wanting to please Cat.

But aren't there other ways that I could've pleased her? I wish with all my heart I could go back and change what I said. I would've said, "Cat, I love you so much, but is there something we can do other than date each other?" That's what I needed to do. Why could I not see that?

"I truly love you," I tell Cat.

She shakes her head. "Jade," she says, and just my name creates tears in her eyes and makes her shoulders heave with sobs. "No, you don't. Right now I want to be with you so badly, but I have to make the right choice." She takes a deep breath. "We're done."

* * *

That sentence echoes in my head in the dark of the night as I take the knife carefully from the knife block, my breath uneven, and press the tip carefully to my wrist.

* * *

**I hate myself for that, but I felt it coming. I can only imagine everyone in the reviews leaving frowny faces, disappointed in me for NOT creating fluffy puppy love. I SAID NOT! I think it's clear by now that I am NOT calling my story fluff. **

**I'm sorry, I'm getting angry. I just... I'm very social, and it really hurts me when I realize that my readers aren't liking what I'm writing for them. **

**P.S. I've been listening to Ariana Grande's The Way while I wrote this whole thing. What do you guys think about it? I'm really disappointed because A, it's clear that she's taking others' styles instead of letting her beautiful, natural one shine, B, she can sing SO much better than this music lets her, and C, Mac Miller? Really? Of ALL people? She's WAY to good for him. No pun intended.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, so I had some time and energy to write, so I'm writing this directly after chapter 10. I don't really know what your response is going to be. **

**Hey, so if you like Cade, just hold on! It's going to come in the future, at least, I hope. I've planned for it to. **

**Also, have you heard Want U Back by Cher Lloyd? It's the PERFECT Bade song from Jade to Beck. If you haven't heard it listen to it, and keep that in mind. **

* * *

I woke up to Tori screaming. I don't like screaming, and I'm not sure anybody does. Except for famous people if the screaming is for them.

She runs upstairs to get me, and I fly out of bed like someone had pressed an eject button. Her eyes are full of tears nearly begging to spill over the edge, but clearly she's trying to contain them. "We have to call 911 now," she says breathlessly. "It's Jade."

My mouth opens in shock, but I'm frozen. "What... what happened?" I whisper.

"WE HAVE TO CALL 911 NOW!" she screams again, in my face. I can't move, though, I just keep standing, wondering what must have happened to Jade. A lot of terrible things could of happened.

Then she shoves me, and it startles me, because Tori would never push anyone under a normal circumstance. I run over to where I left my PearPhone, which was luckily in my pocket when my Mom kicked me out. Tossing it to her, I leave the room plugging my ears. I hate 911 calls.

I've only had to call 911 once, and that was because my brother spilled boiling water all over himself. He's okay now. The man on the other end was super-serious and it scared me and made me cry. I was afraid I would say something or do something wrong.

I realize that it's very early, maybe 2 or 3 in the morning. We have school tomorrow, right? Tori's parents said that they weren't coming back until noon today; they had an overnight conference about Trina to go to. They had a long sit-down talk with us about what was and wasn't to be done while they were gone. I got the message.

There's blood on the kitchen floor.

I can't really see all the way in, but I can see blood all over the floor, and I don't want to look further. I freeze in place, not wanting to move at all, stunned. "Jade?" I whisper. "Jade-y?"

Nothing happens. I find my feet taking me forward, even though I don't want to see. I don't want to, but it's like I'm not even in my own body; everything is white-ish in my vision.

Jade's not even there.

It's another girl in a mess of blood, and it looks like Jade and it must have been Jade at some point, but this girl is lifeless. I don't even know if she's alive.

The cuts on her wrists made all this blood? Seems like it. There's a knife just out of her reach, as if it fell when she lost consciousness. Why? WHY? WHY?!

Tori comes out from the stairwell just in time for me to double over and vomit in the middle of the living room. She runs up to me and holds my hair back as I heave for a second time, choking on vomit rising from my throat. It burns and makes me sputter. "Oh, Cat," she whispers, and I wipe my mouth off on my shirt and Tori holds me on the couch.

I start to cry and she rocks me back and forth. "What did I do?" I sob, and my tears run all down my neck. "I didn't mean to kill her."

"Shh," Tori whispers, and I realize that she's crying too. "Help will be here, and Jade will be all okay."

"Jade is dead," I whimper.

"No, they can still save her," Tori tells me. "Shh. Shhh, you're okay. Calm down." I can't stop crying, and when the ambulance people bust through the door I'm in a daze. I can't think. They push past me and the vomit on the floor and take the lifeless little girl away quickly, putting her on a piece of white paper covering a stretcher.

It all happens so fast. The men ask lots of questions, but only Tori answers. I can't open my mouth; it's like it's stuck with glue. They tell us to come in the ambulance with Jade, but Tori says no. She called her parents, and they're leaving immediately and should be back in an hour. "Cat's in mental shock," Tori tells them, and I don't know what that means.

Tori talks for awhile, but my hearing goes suddenly and I can't hear or talk. I just stand there, frozen, for so long until Tori grips my hand and sits me on the couch. Everyone leaves, and we're alone. She asks me something, and I can't nod or do anything. I don't want to; I don't want to answer stupid questions.

My hearing fades back in a little bit, and Tori asks me if I need to sleep. My friend is in life danger; I can't sleep! No! But when she leads me up the stairs I realize that I'm about to faint and lose consciousness. I buckle onto the bed, and I know I'm unconscious but I can still think in my mind. The picture of Jade in my head won't go away; it stays there. I still see all the blood; I still see Jade all twisted and mangled on the floor.

When I wake up nothing makes sense. Why am I in Tori's bed, and where's Jade? Tori's holding my hand and it's clear that she's been crying very hard. Did something happen while I was asleep? "Tori, why are you holding my hand? Where's my girlfriend?"

* * *

"You broke up with her," Tori mutters. "Remember?"

Tori's lying and it makes me angry. "I would never break up with Jade, EVER," I shoot defensively. "I love her so much! Where is she?"

"What day is it?" Tori asks me.

"It's Sunday," I remind her. "Jade and I spent the night last night, remember? We came because we were staying behind the gas station?"

Tori lets out a breath like something's very wrong. She seems stressed out. "Cat, try to think," she tells me. "Try to think back. Think hard. I don't know how to explain this, but you've forgotten an entire day. It's Monday," she tells me. "Jade got very hurt last night."

"What happened?" I ask, eyes wide. I'm concerned. I love Jade; she's my girlfriend. Tori's still holding my hand, though, and I pull away because I'm afraid that Jade will get mad if I'm holding hands with another girl.

"I have to find a trigger," she mumbles.

"Trigger? Like on a gun?" I gasp, and it makes me want to cry. "Did Jade get shot by a gun?"

"I read a book on this," Tori says aloud. "You have to find the right trigger. It differs from person to person." She takes a deep breath. "Cat, do you remember the ambulance's siren?"

"What? Yeah, I know what a siren sounds like, why?"

"No, that's no going to work," she tells me. "What about... do you remember the knife? It was inches from Jade's hand."

It's not April Fools Day, because I would know if it was April Fool's Day. That means that Tori is a liar, liar, pants on fire. I jump out of the bed, away from her. "There was lots of blood.."

As soon as she says blood, I see a picture in my mind. Jade, all twisted up on the floor. It's like it was from a dream, but slowly memories start to flood back to me. People rushing in, me throwing up...

"That worked," Tori says breathlessly. She then walks up to me and gives me a hug. "It's okay, Cat. You're going to be okay. Everything's going to be fine."

I hug her back so hard and I want to never let go. We stand for a long time hugging, and I feel Tori start to cry against me, her shoulders moving up and down. I don't do anything, though, until the door bangs open and Mr. Vega screams, "GIRLS! ARE YOU OKAY?"

Tori and I run downstairs, and she can't say anything, she just starts crying. She falls into Mr. Vega's arms, and Ms. Vega runs to the kitchen. "Where is Jade now? Should we go to the hospital?" The spotlight's on me.

I begin to cry too, and Ms. Vega takes me in her arms. She's not my mom, but she's comforting, and she rubs my back. "It's okay, honey. What happened to Jade?"

"Cat can't remember about anything from earlier. She passed out, and she was and still is in mental shock," Tori says, pulling away from her Daddy's chest. "She went to the hospital."

"I'm not ready to see her," I say, and I know it makes me sound scared, but I don't know what Jade will say. "I don't want to go."

Tori nods, and she comes over and takes me away from her mom. She looks into my eyes. "If you're not ready, I won't go either." She takes a deep breath. "Now, we're just going to wait."

* * *

**Yeah, who cares about school? **


	12. Chapter 12

**A couple of recognitions (aka these people MADE. MY. DAY): The guest who posted anonymously "I just started reading this and I LOVED it! This is so amazing and written so well! Also, its SO interesting! Please update soon cant wait to see what happens next" is now in my small section of favorite people. **

**I couldn't PM you or favorite you as an author because you didn't have an account, but I TOTALLY would if you did have an account! Consider making one and PMing me; I love finding people with common interests. Thank you so much for your warm review. **

**Tanya-Lee, you are amazing. I mean, I couldn't stop smiling after I read what you wrote. I originally said I was a social person, and I am, but all my friends say that I'm not emotional and I'm unfazed by others' emotions (i.e. if you're crying, I won't bother to ask what's wrong, and if you're angry I won't get scared). **

**In fact, I am exactly the opposite (at least on the inside). Every time I get a review like that it really brightens my day. You readers are amazing even for reading this. It's insane the number of followers this thing has now. **

**I didn't want to start writing on the actual fan-fiction website because I was afraid of what people would think of my writing (that it was too childish or something). I guess my nightmares both were proven wrong and came true. This has been awesome. **

**I'm going to finish this story here soon (by Sunday), then there will be a three week hiatus and then I'll write a sequel. Don't worry. **

**This is in Jade's POV, aka I'm testing you to see how many of you actually read the author's comments. The number of "wait i thought it was Cat talking"s is directly proportionate to the number of people who don't read them. **

* * *

The world is foggy, as if someone painted my mental camera lens with silver paint.

I don't give a second thought to whether or not it's actually real. There's someone in front of me, and I walk up to him carefully.

His face is oddly familiar in a kind of eerie way, like I've seen him somewhere but I haven't actually seen HIM. Perhaps I've seen a sister of his. That seems right; I seem to remember his facial features as a girl's, but I don't remember her name. I think about if for a minute.

His rich brown eyes are striking, and he has thick muscles. He has the oddest color hair; I can't remember the name of the exact shade, but it reminds me of the taste "sweet". Which is quite odd.

Confidently, with a grin, he flexes his arm and I instinctively grab onto it, giggling softly. It seems as if we're dating, and somehow that thought comforts me. He's handsome, and he seems like quite a ladies' man. When he talks, his voice sounds soft and high, like a girl's. I hope he doesn't get teased at school for that. "Your face is dark like the night," he laughs. "I bet I can get a sun-face out of you though."

EVERYTHING about him rings a bell: his voice, hair, eyes, and his temperament. But I know I've never met him before. I nod tentatively, smiling at him. "No, no, don't step on the bug, Jade-y," he squeals, pulling me to the other side of the sidewalk. "Bugs are people too!"

I laugh sweetly. I feel like our relationship is perfect; he lets me be the dominant one. I don't remember much after that, like my mental camera unfocused and then suddenly we were sitting in a restaurant. "Look what they have on the menu," he tells me. "Red velvet cupcakes! They're my favorite absolutely, all-time."

That is so utterly familiar to me that I almost vomit. I don't want to hurt his feelings, though, so I smile. This is like when you're watching a movie and you KNOW you've seen the actor somewhere before, but it's on a shelf in your brain that's an inch too high for you to reach. I bite down on my tongue, deep in thought.

But I love him nonetheless.

He pays for the meal, and I loop my arm through his and we stroll out of the restaurant confidently. There's a strong magnetism drawing me to him, as if I know that our relationship is perfect. We walk along the boardwalk in a park as the sun sets, and suddenly he gets down on one knee in front of me. "Jade," he asks, "will you be mine forever? Will you love me no matter what, unconditionally? Will you marry me?"

He's crying. I say yes, and that magnetism grows stronger until he stands and I pull him into a huge hug. "Now we can be together forever," I whisper in his ear.

But when I pull away, he's someone else. He has long hair, no more muscles, makeup, and a clean, shaven face. He- I mean, she- squeals and wipes the tears off her cheeks.

Oh, my God, it's Cat.

"No, I can't- I can't marry you now," I stammer. "I'm so sorry, I just can't do it, it's not me. It's not who I am. I'm not gay."

Instead of getting upset, her face just falls dark and violent-looking. "I knew it," she tells me, but her face looks triumphant instead of sad. "You're not following love, you're following stereotyping and labels. If I was a boy, you would say yes."

The realization hits me long after the female Cat skips down the boardwalk out of sight and lightning bugs dot the night around me.

* * *

**I'm sorry, okay, but dreams are confusing! They don't make any sense! I figure they must be even more confusing if you're in a coma. Hint hint hinty-hint. **


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm writing this right after chapter 12, so I don't really have much to say except hi. **

**Also, if you reviewed chapter 11, you're amazing. If not, go back and review it now. You have the chance now. This chapter will wait. **

* * *

Turns out waiting makes me sick.

No, for real-sies, I threw up twice. Tori said it was from "anxiety and agitation". I told her to please stop using words I can't understand.

She said it would be healthy to go see Jade, and so here we are, standing in front of the open hospital room door that Jade's in.

A nurse walks out. "Excuse me," he tells us, "Ms. West is in a critical state. Nobody may visit with the exception of family and romantic partners."

"I'm her romantic partner," I inform him. That makes him very awkward, and his cheeks turn red.

"Err, um, I'm not really sure that counts," he says, rubbing his neck and looking around stiffly. "Uh, see, umm, I'm not really sure that's really valid because Ms. West, uh..." he fades off. "You know?"

"Not at all," Tori butts in defensively. "I think you're discriminating. Don't you believe in equal rights?" Her face is angry. "Cat here is Jade's girlfriend, or... was about 13 hours before the incident. I can't believe you. You're a disgrace."

"G-go on in," he stammers. "Just don't tell anyone I said so, okay?" He walks down the hall with his face tilted to the side, embarrassed.

I freeze up at the door. "I can't do it," I whisper to Tori. "Jade might be scary. I can't see her like this."

"Do you feel sick?" she asks suddenly, worried. "If this is too much for you we can leave." It's actually quite a hassle; Ms. Vega's waiting at the house for us and we'd have to get her to drive all the way around here early. I shake my head, though, and swallow my nervousness like I was living in a world where you could swallow emotions like water or soda.

"Let's go."

When I walk in everything blurs, and my heart starts thudding in my head really hard (like THU-THUD, THU-THUD). Jade is lying on the bed, motionless and chalky pale. All sorts of machines are hooked up to her, including one which is giving rhythmic beeps. Most of her is covered by the covers, but I can see that she's wearing a stiff, paper hospital gown. She'd hate it; it's light blue with a floral pattern.

"Jade, baby," I whisper. This is my fault. Tears spring to my eyes, and I can't breathe my throat feels so choked up. "I love you," I sob, and Tori puts an arm around my shoulders. "I love you so much and I didn't mean for you to try and kill yourself." That makes me cry even harder. "Now you're here and it's all my fault and I feel so bad, honey, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Tori reassures me.

"Yes, it was!"

"Were you holding the knife?"

That's both a good and a bad point at the same time. I think about it for awhile, then carefully reach out to grip Jade's hand. There's a huge bandage tied up all around her arm, and there's tubes running in and out of it. My head gets dizzy, like I'm going to be sick, but then it clears out. I grip each one of her fingers in turn as if they each hold a little tiny bit of strength that I need to get from her.

"Hello, girls," someone says, and we both jump. He's a short, plump man in a business suit and tie; he's holding a clipboard and a pen and strides right in, sitting in the chair in the corner. "May I ask you some questions that aroused from our routine ER patient administration checkup?"

I can't understand anything he's saying, but I believe I'm supposed to say yes. "Yeah?"

"What is your name, please, the red-head?"

"Cat Valentine," I respond.

"Relation to Jade West?"

"Romantic partner."

He doesn't seem at all disturbed like the nurse. "And you, brown hair and purple shirt?"

"Tori Vega."

"Relation to Jade West?"

"Close friend."

He nods. "What experience have you had with Jade's family, if any? Please describe the dominant members in her household, i.e. her parents and/or guardians." I freeze up for a minute.

"What are Jade's parents like?" Tori whispers in my ear.

"Oh, umm, mean," I tell him. I know Jade wouldn't want me to tell him, but right now she's in a coma and I'm my own boss. He nods and scribbles something down on a piece of paper.

"To what extent are they harsh?"

"How mean are they?" Tori hisses.

"Her dad hits her," I tell him, my eyes wide. "And he throws things. She's very bruised up, all up her back and arms and legs."

"Ms. Valentine, why have you not informed someone about this before now?" he seems upset with me.

"She told me not to," I respond. "And she's always been the boss of me." The man looks concerned for awhile, rubbing his goatee.

"Was there any trace of adult beverages or alcoholic shots on site?"

"He drinks lots of stuff like that," I tell him before Tori can say anything. "I think it makes him extra mean or something. I dunno if Jade's sister drinks anything, but probably."

"She has a female family member?" The man asks me, concerned. "I'm not confident she has a blood sister, based on our records. How has she been described to you?"

I shrug. "As a sister."

"One last question, then you're done," he tells me. "To the extent of your knowledge, has he ever sexually assaulted or raped Ms. West?"

"What does that mean?"

"Has he ever touched any of the following body parts against Ms. West's will: b-"

"Umm," Tori interrupts, and it makes the man stop talking. "Yes."

I'm shocked at Tori's answer; how would she know? I don't even want to ask, but I have to. After the man in the suit thanks us for our time and tells us anything we said will be used against us (an mean thing to say), I turn to her. "Tori?" I ask, scared of how she's going to answer.

She sits down in the chair in the corner, the same one that the man just left. "Jade told me," she says, her shoulders shaking with compressed sobs. "that her Dad had done something like that. She told me not to tell, and threatened me. I know it's none of my business but I tried to call someone and-" tears start to slide down her cheeks- "She threw a vase at my face. That's where this scar is from," she tells me, tracing a healed cut I hadn't noticed before.

"Tori," I whimper. She shakes it off and stands up.

"Are you ready to go?" Tori asks, and I look down at Jade one more time.

"No," I respond. "I want to stay."

We left more than 2 hours later.


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm writing this right after 14... I don't know how to feel about getting no reviews because I haven't had time to get none! **

**;) **

* * *

She's so beautiful in this dream.

It's like she's a god, and she's mine. This is my 4th dream about Cat, and this is by far the one that she looks prettiest in. It's like someone is shining a magical light in her face that makes her look heavenly, like an angel or even a god. I don't believe magic but Cat is just that. Magic.

We're in a living room, but all I can look at is her beauty and that light she's in. She reaches over and grips my hand; this dream is so utterly realistic that I can feel her squeeze each finger individually as if she was squeezing them for real.

Where are we? It's a nice house, and it's my style; the walls are a rich purple with white trim to brighten them a bit. The couches are chocolate brown and there's a large flat-screen TV. Cat's holding an infant; she's wrapped in pink and looks no more than a month old.

"We did it," Cat tells me, and her eyes are brimming with tears. Her eyes are sparkling. "Do you want to take her, Jade?"

I feel an odd urge to, even though I don't really like kids much. But this baby is beautiful, and she's warm and soft in my arms. Her little blue eyes open; it's only the second time I've seen them. For some reason tears drip out of my eyes. This is my child; I know it. I can feel it.

The baby opens her mouth in a tiny yawn. It makes me smile, but I'm overcome with emotion and I can't stop shaking. "I love her so much," I tell Cat. "She's ours, right?"

"Ours forever," Cat tells me, and her face is glowing with pride. "Part of our family. Welcome home, little Ari."

The dream starts to fade away even though I want it to say SO very badly. I try to reach and grasp it but it keeps slipping.

Then there's pain.

It fills me and overpowers me but I can't seem to open my mouth and scream. It's in my arms mainly, but it runs up them and all the way into my body.

Then there's light.

I can't stand it. It blinds me and numbs my senses; I can't think. I try to shut my eyes, but when I do, the pain intensifies. I want to go back into the dream with Cat and our child where happy ever after is already there. "Please, NO!" I try to shout, attempting to slip back under. But it doesn't work, and the ache in my body harms me so much that I can hardly breathe.

But I realize something over all this pain: that the happy ever after in my mind isn't real, but the happy ever after with all this pain and the bright lights is not far away.

Do I love Cat?

Yes. Romantically, too, with all my heart. I realized that from the dreams; I wasn't follwing love, like Cat said. I was following stereotypes and labels. I can like boys except for Cat; no person's romance life is perfect.

This pain is going to get me to Cat, so I embrace it. I open my eyes and look at the ceiling tiles. "Is someone there?" I choke out.

Someone rushes up to me and starts talking in another language. I realize in a few seconds that it's not a foreign language; it is, in fact, English. The sound is so harsh on my ears that it feels like they person is talking rapidly and accenting random syllables.

"Call her family," the man commands to someone else, who I can't see.

"No, no," I try to protest, but it comes out jumbled. "Please don't. I don't want so see my family."

"No, Ms. West, your friends," he tells me. "Err, uh, dates. Or something. Not your sexually abusive father and the prostitute that lives with you and who has asked to be called your sister."

"WHAT?" I shriek, but I don't have the energy to talk above the whisper. "Who told you that?"

"They told us not to tell you," he tells me. "Your friends will be here in a sec."

He then leaves.

I'm left with pain and tears that refuse to rise to my eyes in the form of liquid. I feel like I want to throw something, but my hands are all bound so tightly.

Cat and Tori come soon enough. They're followed by others: Beck and Tori's parents. Everyone looks so incredibly emotional, and I don't really want to deal with this right now, but I have to. For Cat.

"I realized something," I say when everyone files into the room. They're all looking at me, and I realize I have the attention I wanted. It feels awful. "Cat, I love you."

Someone "awws" and I realize it's the dude who talked to me earlier. "OUT," I command, but my commanding voice isn't working very well today. He still leaves.

"I only dreamt about you," I tell her. "You told me lots of things in those dreams that made me realize that I did love you all along, even through all of this. In one of my dreams we-" I suddenly get so choked up that I can't continue. I start to cry, and the monitors start beeping all over the place but I can't stop.

"It's okay, Jade," Cat whispers. "You don't have to continue."

"Let me, let me," I sob, wanting so badly to gain control of myself. "In one of my dreams we were married, and we had a house and a little baby named Ari." I try to wipe the tears off my cheeks but can't do it, so Cat does, lovingly. "That's the best dream I've EVER had."

Everyone in the room is crying now, even Beck. But maybe it's just out of jealousy.

"But I realized that although I had to wake up," I tell her, "I could still dream." This is so cool because of how inspirational it's becoming without a lot of effort. Someone should write this down so that I can reuse it in the future.

Cat bends down and kisses me, and I'm so drained I can't kiss her back. Everyone in the room claps, and Cat gets so incredibly emotional she can't even look at me without choking on her sobs. "I love you so much, Jade-y," she tells me, and then tries to cuddle me awkwardly sideways.

"How much?" I ask like a child.

"Much more than you could ever imagine," she says. "And if you want to stay together forever," she pauses and it agitates me. "Okay."

* * *

**I'm not emotional, so I don't really cry, but if I was the average female I'd be in tears. This is NOT the last chapter! I have an epilogue coming, but it's second to last I guess. Which makes me really sad because I want to keep writing this, and I love you guys. Insert more mushy stuff here. **


	15. Epilogue

**I finished this story right on time! I'm so happy. I'm not going to upload anything for three weeks but when I get back, there will be an explosion of story. **

**The sequel is going to be called Violet. Yes, that's its title. I may change it later (if I do I'll update these author notes) but be on the lookout for it starting 3 weeks from Sunday. **

**Some people I want to recognize: **

**let-y0ur-hair-d0wn, TeamCade, Tanya Lee, and PurpleScizzor48 for reviewing more than once. That's dedication! It makes me feel great every time I get a review from one of you because I know that you're honestly dedicated to the story. **

**Tanya Lee, Two-Ways-Down-None-To-Go, iforgotmylogin, and one Guest for giving me really detailed reviews. Most of your reviews either told me the strengths and weaknesses of each chapter or gave me lots of praise. I know that I can count on you to look at each chapter seriously and consider every aspect of it. **

**My-mind-is-pulverized for favoriting and following a lot of my stuff. I got like 6 story alerts because you favorited me and a lot of my work. So thank you for that. **

**And lastly, I want to thank PurpleScizzor48 not only for answering my challenge (he/she was the only person who did) but also for making me feel like a real author. **

* * *

Four Months Later

"Jade, you know I love you, right?" Cat whispers, and I rest my head on her shoulder as we look out at the sunset together.

"Why would I think otherwise?" I respond, giving her neck a tender kiss. I act calm because Cat is quite freaked out by anxiety, but my heart is hammering in my throat.

"I'm just making sure," she laughs, and then she gives my hand a squeeze. My arms are nearly healed now, and when Cat squeezes my hand I only feel a faint ache.

I will never hurt myself again.

I'm safe now, and Cat's the light at the end of the tunnel, I guess. I have her, she's mine. I have her forever.

Well, not yet. Forever is a hard thing to think about, and I've already been thinking about forever a lot, tossing and turning in my bed (which is hidden away safely in Cat and I's apartment). I've been discussing Cat and I's forever with Tori, and she's been supportive in ways I don't want her to be because now she thinks we're friends. Forever is all ready, all planned. I'm just waiting for the right moment.

My hands start to shake and I drop Cat's. Somehow the social butterfly hasn't picked up on my nervousness yet, and she's still calm and relaxed. "Oh, Jade-y," she sighs. "This night is so beautiful." I feel like I'm about to cry from pressure, and I want to scratch up my wrist but Cat made me promise never again.

"Cat," I ask, and my voice is shaking. "Look over there, at that funny bird." I point behind her head, and she turns, giving me the perfect opportunity to drop down on one knee.

"Jade-y, I don't see it," she tells me, and I dig the ring out of my back pocket carefully.

"You probably don't," I tell her, and my voice wavers.

"Why not?"

"Because the bird doesn't exist."

"Oh." Cat seems a bit sad, and turns around to find me on the concrete like an idiot, not sure how to propose to another girl. My eyes are wet, but I don't want Cat to see.

Her hands fly to her mouth, stunned, and she's smiling but crying at the same time. "Cat," I ask, but I can't even continue. My vision is all white; I can't see. What if she says no? This is early! We've only been together for about four months, but I feel like it's been so much longer. People tell me I rush things. What if Cat says the same?

I drop the ring like a dumbass and scramble to pick it up. "Cat, will you marry me?" I add a please in my head, hoping that she won't embarrass me or say no.

"Of course," she breathes, and my hand is shaking so hard when I put the ring on her finger that I can barley fit it on. I leap up to kiss her, tears flowing down my face.

"Cat, you make me feel so amazing," I sob into her arms. This is the first time I've let her comfort me, and she does, slipping her arms around my neck and pulling me down closer to her. "I know it's early and I know we can't get married soon at all, but someday I want us to be tied together infinitely like in my dream. I love you so much."

Cat doesn't respond, but I can feel her head shake against me and I know she's crying. "Jade," she says after awhile, "you scared me so badly when you hurt yourself like that." I nod. "I'm going to marry you, and we're going to have a beautiful family someday, but listen. Don't EVER do that again."

"Oh, Cat, you know I won't," I sigh, and it makes me feel so ashamed to admit that I did something that horrible to myself. "You know I won't."

"Why did you do it anyway?" she asks, and her voice is so mad all of a sudden that it shocks me. "Why? You hurt me, Jade. You made me feel like I'd done something so bad to you." She pulls away. "Why?"

"Because you were all I was living for, I realized," I tell her, taking her hand. "I felt like there was nothing left. My Dad hated and beat me, and my mom has been gone for as long as I can remember. When you were gone, so was I."

Cat smiles through another round of her tears. "Jade, we're going to have to tell people about this," she says. "They're not going to be happy."

"We can do it; we can power through anything," I tell her. "If it means I get to love you."

She sighs and leans against me. "I love you so much, Jade," she whispers in my ear. "Just one thing."

"What, baby?"

"My ring is on the wrong finger."

* * *

**This. Has. Been. Awesome! **

**I love every part of this. Look for Violet! It takes place directly after this book, so there's no more time jumps. I'm sorry that she proposed so early but I didn't have anywhere else to take this story! **

**If you have a story you want written (Maybe Cade, Cori, Jori, Bade, really anything) post the plot-line in the comments and I'll see if I can write one of them. **

**I'm really running out of ideas, so give me something really cool and unique. **

**I love you all! THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH! **

**3 Chillyninja (yes I am a girl, I have the right to sign off with a heart) **


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